Chapter 6 - When Enough is Enough
OPTION 3 - BRING IN THE TROOPS
What will trigger YOUR will to escape?
If you’re still reading along you will have noticed I’ve mainly answered the ‘Whys’ that I am always asked.
Why did you stay? Why did he do it? But now it’s time for the ‘Whats’. What makes a Victim reach the end of their rope? What might help you to end your abuse, or the abuse of someone you love.
I’ve not shared many of the gruesome details of my 7-years of abuse. For me that is mere sensationalism that serves little purpose. But now I will spell out the specifics of the week that drove me to decide “Enough”. But remember - this is my story. Rock-bottom is different for everyone. My hope is that you will cry “Enough” before your rock bottom is death.
Looking back I guess I had been preparing for my escape for years. When Todd started boldly flaunting his mistress, Tara Schafer Waldrop, while continuing to live in my home, use my body, financially rape me and beat the living daylights out of me, I started planning. I had learned that I could not get him physically out of my home. Nor was I prepared to flee.
My preparation became a slow but deliberate process. It took patience and courage. But it’s the very BEST thing I have ever done and it’s the very BEST advice I will ever give you.
GATHER EVIDENCE of what is being done to you.
Be very careful how you do this!
So very much is at stake.
So, despite the personal risk, starting in 2015 and for the next 3 YEARS, I took date-stamped photographs of my injuries and damage to my property, kept a journal, consulted with a lawyer and signed a deposition (even though I was not ready to proceed yet), kept texts, medical and financial records and showed my bruised and battered body to a very few, carefully selected friends who I could trust with my life.
Tragically, if you can’t demonstrate in any way what is happening/has happened to you, your chances of successfully escaping the situation are remote. No matter your socio-economic status or ethnicity. No evidence = no proof that a crime has taken place.
And although terrified of involving the police, I prepared. My Atlanta experience was burned into my brain. And then on Tuesday, January 9th, 2018, Todd Thomas Kress launched into an impressive attack. He threw the remote control at my head, spat in my face, grabbed my throat in a choke hold, punched me in the face, slapped me repeatedly across the head, picked me up and dropped me onto the tiled kitchen floor, urged me to commit suicide and then threatened to kill my child and my unborn grandchild. When the tornado of violence finally ended he took my car keys, my purse and cell phone, and guarded me for the next several days.
But a switch had finally flipped!
Besides being unable to endure much more physical damage, here’s what changed. I could always excuse Todd’s behavior to myself as ‘anger issues’. Something that could be ‘fixed.’ But during the rampage described above I noticed something alarming. It had happened before but a traumatized brain does not process information well.
I had seen the dots but I hadn’t connected them.
Somewhere in-between the spitting and choking and punching Todd picked up a 38lb (I just weighed it), 4ft tall, silver-encased vase to hurl at me, or the wall, or the dogs. Who knows? But then he stopped himself and gently lowered it back to the ground …. and then continued to beat me. How does someone consumed with anger do that? How did he flip his on/off ‘anger switch’ so easily? How could he create a moment of restraint and calm in the midst of his ‘anger storm’?
quite simply, he wasn’t angry
As he continued to pound me I saw the glint of enjoyment in his eye and the demonic grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. THE POWER AND CONTROL were exhilarating for him. He ‘got off’ on inflicting pain. A vase can’t satisfy these urges! This was psychopathic behavior and I was in very troubled waters!
A few days later he believed I was submissive enough to keep my battered and bruised face and throat hidden from the world while he took his new mistress to dinner. And so I was once again ‘free’ to meet a friend, and the truth about the life I was living tumbled out. Her shock, and me hearing myself tell my story out-loud, was finally the point of no return. I went home and called the police. And God gave me Deputy Eric Zediker!
I spoke to Deputy Zediker for a while. I can’t recall how long. I was too afraid to tell him my full name or my address, but he listened with professional concern while repeatedly encouraging me to tell him where I was. I refused, and finally I hung up. Jumping off the cliff was just too scary. I was deadly afraid of what would happen to me if the police intervened. Somehow I believed that living with the monster was easier than having the monster free to lurk in the shadows outside my home. And then Todd came home. I summoned the courage to tell him that I could no longer endure this life and wanted to sell my home and move out of State. He beat me, of course. And took my cell phone.
And then he beat my dogs!
When Law Enforcement traced my address and four police officers miraculously arrived at my home several hours later, I was horrified - but also ready for the abuse to end. I cooperated fully.
In Chapters 7 & 8 I elaborate on my insights into my two totally different police experiences (GA versus TX). And over time I will introduce you to the remarkable people in Hays County Law Enforcement and the District Attorney’s Office who ‘walked with me’ through a 19-month journey in pursuit of Justice.
In the many months that followed Todd’s arrest I did not recant my story. When YOU too finally cry out for help, KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
The more you can help the police officers to do their jobs, the more they can help you.
And so that night Todd Thomas Kress was arrested, handcuffed and taken to jail. And thus the abuse ended!
But my journey through the Criminal Justice System had only just begun.